Beep Beep Beep Goes My Kitchen

Much like “The Trolley Song” that Judy Garland made famous,
my kitchen is as noisy as that trolley she sang about.

The stove beeps with every press of my finger, then it beeps
three times when it’s preheated, and gives an extended, annoyed beep if I dare
to open the door while the broiler is on. 
It beeps if I open the oven while baking too– although I’m not sure how I’m
supposed to exchange the cookie trays without opening the door.  A loud and long beep greets me should I decide
to self-clean the oven, as though it dislikes this task as much as I do!

Then there’s my coffee maker….it beeps loudly when the
coffee is made…even though I’m standing right in front of it, waiting for it to

My dishwasher has a mind of its own.  Not only does it beep with every button I
push, but also beeps three short beeps, then waits, and beeps three again, then
waits and beeps a final three – to boast that it has successfully cleaned the load
of dishes in a quick 2 ½ hours.  I’m just
surprised that it doesn’t play the trumpet.

Let’s not forget the crockpot – once it warms up to the
correct temperature, it sounds like a foghorn in the kitchen.

And then there’s my waffle iron – 5 beeps means it is hot
and ready for the batter.  Three beeps
means that it thinks the batter is fully cooked…sometimes it’s right, sometimes
it’s wrong. 

Thankfully the microwave can be programmed so that all
beeping can be silenced.  This is my one and
only requirement for buying a microwave, even though I have to look deep into
the owner’s manual to figure out how to turn off that irritating beep.

The dryer has the good sense to have a button that silences
the beeping – the only polite appliance that I own.  Sigh.

Well, I have to go now….my washer is calling me.  You can probably hear it…all the way from The Artist’s Inn, in Lancaster County! 

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